I don’t feel very well!

 

This match was held on the River Ouse, near Downham Market. As usual we booked our coach through Woodhouse Coaches, Bolsover and our regular driver was a chap called Dave. In the summer Dave used to bring back all sorts of farm products and on this particular trip, whilst we were fishing he went to the local farmer and bought about 20lbs of strawberries. As there wasn’t any room in the coach boot he stacked them under the front two seats.

Once the match was over and the coach loaded with our fishing tackle, Dave asked the man on the front seats to be careful of his strawberries and not to squash them with their feet. The man on the front seat was a chap called John, who is usually a very quiet person who hardly said anything. After we have been travelling back for about an hour Cliff Hodgetts said to me “Jack, just watch John on the front seat but don’t laugh or say anything?” I watched him and as i did so he slipped his hand under the seat, brought out a strawberry and put it into his mouth, with hardly any indication of what he had just done. “He’s been doing that for the last 20 minutes” Cliff said. He continued to do this for the next hour and the tray of strawberries under the seat was getting emptier and emptier. Suddenly John yelled “Dave stop the bus, I don’t feel very well”. John was sitting right behind Dave, who didn’t want to have sick all down his back, so he stopped the coach. John leapt out of his seat and jumped off the coach and proceeded to ‘throw up’ gallons of sick and about 5lbs of Dave’s strawberries. John got back onto the coach looking a delicate shade of green and said “It must have been them sandwiches I brought, that strawberry jam must have been off”.

I don’t think Dave would have been very pleased when he took his tray of strawberries off the coach, but would no doubt remember John and his ‘off’ strawberry sandwiches!